People who try to define Irony

When was the last time you heard someone properly define irony?

I was in class the other day and my teacher said that irony was "when you say something, but you mean something else." She had gone past the end of class, and I had a meeting with my advisor and rather than staying around to hear my teacher define LYING (not irony!) I just walked out of the class. I'm sorry! Call me an ass, but I'm not going to be late because of misdefined literary concepts.

Also: Rain on your wedding day? That's just an inconvenience.
No smoking sign on your cigarette break? Also inconvenience. Maybe it would be irony if you were taking your cigarette break from work at like ... a cigarette factory that doesn't give cigarette breaks usually... and then you finally get a cigarette break and you go out the only door of this huge building that is the cigarette factory to smoke one of those cigarettes you spend all day every day making and you get out there and go to light it and look up and see a no smoking sign. Who would've thought? It figures.
Meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife? Sucks to be you!
Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? Clearly you just don't know how to play knife and spoony.

All these things are quite vexing, but unfortunately, not ironic. People are idiots.